Today, as I was getting into work, I saw a co-worker of mine walking in front of me. We’re really good friends and we joke around a lot, so i jokingly whistled at him and slapped his butt. Turns out it wasn’t my friend, it was the new guy. Hello, sexual harrassment charges. FML

Today, I brought my little sons into work with me. I introduced them to my boss. She said to my shy kids, “You boys don’t know me, do you? I’m Janice.” The older one lit up and said, “Oh, I know you, mommy complains about you all the time.” FML

Today, my boss was handing me a list of phone numbers to call people and terminate them from their jobs here at the company. My phone was on that list. I don’t know what’s worse, not realizing it was my number until I heard my voicemail or getting terminated from my job. FML

Today, my boss called me into his office. He then fired me. Upset, I asked him “Well, who’s gonna replace me?” His answer was “I don’t know and don’t care. Everyone who works here hates you. Now go away.” FML